Reunions & Random Calls – Snippets from Spring Break 2018 (pt. 3)
(This is the third part of the "Snippets from Spring Break 2018" series. If you haven't read the previous parts, you might wanna read them first. Click here for part 1, click here for part 2, and click here for part 2.5)
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Tanggal 26 Maret. Akhirnya, hari yang ditunggu-tunggu datang juga. Hampir dua tahun lamanya, dua tahun tidak bertemu. After what felt like forever, akhirnya, gue kembali menemukan diri gue mengemudikan mobil ke Jalan Haji Nawi, Radio Dalam, Jakarta Selatan. Ya, sahabat gue sejak kelas 8 SMP sudah tiba di Jakarta.
Dimas sampai di Jakarta sehari sebelumnya, tapi karena nyampenya sore, dan dia juga pasti kecapekan abis terbang London-Jakarta, kami memutuskan untuk bertemu di hari berikutnya.
"Besok langsung aja Ror, main basket, terus nginep di rumah gue, nah terus lusa langsung cabut ke Bandung, kan lu di sini juga tinggal bentar lagi men, gak bisa buang waktu hahaha", usul Dimas.
"Wuei gilak, lu emang abis terbang gak capek Dims? Jet lag apa segala macem?"
"Nggak lah santai, makanya ini gue mau tidur langsung, buat nyembuhin tu jet lag"
Begitulah percakapan kami saat ia baru mendarat di Jakarta.
Balik ke tanggal 26, setelah melalui arus lalu lintas Jakarta yang relatif ringan, sampailah gue di kediaman Dimas. Well, technically speaking, it's not his house anymore, he moved out and his dad turned that house into an office, but we stayed the night in the office-house because it's closer to the city.
Sesampainya di depan pagar rumah, gue telepon lah si kampret, tapi dia gak ngangkat. Gue telepon lagi, gak dijawab lagi, tapi gue denger ada suara orang buka pintu, and sure enough, it was him, and he opened the front gate for me. And boy oh boy, there he was, my eight-year-long friend. My brother from another mother. Sahabat seperti kerabat. Berdiri tegap, tinggi menjulang, dan...
... gendut?
A little background info, sejak pertama gue kenal Dimas, dia gak pernah lebih tebal dari tiang listrik, but it seems like London's been treating him pretty well. Pas dia nongol dari gerbang, gue perhatiin dia, dari atas ke bawah, dan gue kebingungan,
Ini orang lehernya ilang ke mana pula?
Keluarlah gue dari mobil, dan gue disambut salaman yang erat dan pelukan mesra yang dipenuhi rasa persaudaraan. Gimana nggak, kami berdua memang bukanlah manusia yang paling pandai bergaul, so we're basically stuck with each other. Tapi gue dan Dimas agak beda juga sih, kalo Dimas raut wajahnya ramah dan emang sikapnya terlalu baik, jadi dia walaupun bukan social butterfly, orang-orang masih lalu-lalang dalam kesehariannya, he's still a people-magnet. Lah gue?
Tampang kriminil, kalo ngomong selalu sinis, pesimistis, bau ketek pula. Itu kalo gue jalan di kampus ngelewatin kerumunan orang, udah kayak Nabi Musa membelah Laut Merah.
Okay, enough nonsense, where was I?
Setelah salam-peluk lepas kangen, gue langsung nanyain dia,
"Eh, London enak ye Dims? You've been eatin' good I see hahaha"
"Hahaha iya Ror, kan dingin juga soalnya, gue jadi pengen makan mulu men bawaannya"
Setelah masuk, taruh barang-barang, dan langsung, main Nintendo Switch. Game pertama, tentu saja, NBA 2K18. Kalo udah ngomongin basket, kami memang kompetitif, di dunia nyata dan juga dunia maya. Tapi kalo ngomongin kompetitif, game yang paling bikin gue fokus menang adalah Mario Kart. Gue main itu, kalo udah lap terakhir, bisa gak nafas, saking konsentrasinya. Apalagi kalo lap terakhir dan gue gak di posisi pertama, itu gue ngontrol joystick udah kayak Michael Schumacher. Siang hari itu dipenuhi caci-maki antara dua kawan yang sudah lama tidak bertemu. Apalagi pas ada yang lempar blue shell, itu caciannya biasanya dua kali lipat.
Hari udah mulai sore, dan kami belom makan siang, jadi kami memutuskan untuk pergi ke Pondok Indah Mall untuk makan, abis itu sekalian main basket.
Sesampainya di PIM, sebelum makan, kami mengunjungi salah satu optik yang ada di situ. Yang mau ke optik sebenernya gue, karena belakangan ini, gue kalo lagi baca buku, atau lagi di kelas, suka burem-burem gak jelas, jadi gue kira datang sudah hari di mana gue memerlukan kacamata baca. Pergi ke optik merupakan ide Dimas, karena awalnya gue mau cek ke klinik, tapi dia bilang cek di optik juga bisa, gratis, yowis lah, daripada ribet, mending sekalian.
Sesampainya di optik, gue langsung bertanya ke mas-mas yang jaga konter,
"Mas, anu, saya mau cek mata, bisa?"
Si mas pun menjawab,
"Bisa, silakan mas, ke sini"
Gue lalu disuruh melihat ke dalam sebuah mesin yang fungsinya gue kurang ngerti, sehabis itu, gue pindah ke tes di mana lo harus nyebutin huruf satu-satu, dari yang ukurannya besar sampe yang kecil.
"Coba mas, ini keliatan, huruf apa?"
"Emm iya, A"
"Kalo yang ini?"
"K"
"Coba, baris yang ini tolong dibaca semuanya mas"
"Emm L E I Q H G"
"... masih bisa kebaca mas?"
"... iyah, masih bisa sih"
"... oke, coba yang paling bawah, dibaca mas, huruf yang ketiga dari kiri"
"Ituu huruf J"
Hening.
"... mas yakin itu matanya burem?", tanya si penjaga konter, dengan nada penuh kecurigaan.
"... ya-yakin kok"
"Hmm masa iya ya? Soalnya kalo dari tes ini sih, mata mas masih bagus banget", timpalnya. Lah si mas kok malah ngegombal garing gini? Gue gak bakal kaget kalo selanjutnya dia nanyain gue "papa kamu astronot ya?"
"O-oh, gitu ya mas? Y-yaudah deh... kalo gitu... ehmm makasih ya", balas gue, sambil mengisyaratkan Dimas untuk langsung ngibrit dari lokasi. Kami berdua tengsin gak karuan.
Kami pun langsung ke restoran Bakmi GM untuk makan siang, dan selama makan, kami juga ngomongin rencana ke Bandung nanti, kira-kira mau ke mana dan ngapain aja. Gue juga baru hari itu ngasih tau si Raga kalo gue dan Dimas bakalan ke Bandung. I know it was kinda on a short notice, tapi untungnya, Raga, anak arsitek ITB yang jadwalnya relatif ketat, masih bisa meluangkan waktu untuk menemui kami.
Selesai makan, kami langsung ke Senayan, karena sepengetahuan kami, lapangan basket ABC masih ada dan bisa dipakai tanpa perlu booking. Ternyata eh ternyata, sesampainya kami di lokasi, lagi ada perombakan besar-besaran dalam rangka persiapan Asian Games 2018, semprul. Kami pun mencoba ke STC, tapi sayangnya, hari itu sudah penuh direservasi. Sebenernya agak lega juga sih, soalnya harga sewa lapangan di STC adalah Rp700 ribu per 2 jam, dan kami cuma main berdua, yang berarti masing-masing bayar... Rp350 ribu. Gue nangis men.
Karena gak dapet-dapet lapangan, kami pun mencoba browsing online, mencari-cari lapangan basket. Ada satu yang gue tau di Taman Menteng, tapi jauhnya masyaoloh. Terus gue inget, oiya, klub basket gue dulu kan sekarang punya home court yang disewain ke publik. Jadilah, kami telepon tempatnya, dan Alhamdulillah, si bapak di seberang telepon bilang ada jam kosong untuk bisa disewa.
"Oh, ada masih ada yang kosong ya pak? Itu jam berapa ya kalo boleh tau?", tanya si Dimas, yang kebagian jatah ngomong.
"Jam 10 sampai jam 12 malam, mas", kata si bapak, kedengeran lewat loudspeaker.
"Ooh oke, terus itu harganya berapa pak?"
"Rp400 ribu mas, dua jam"
Saat si bapak bilang Rp400 ribu, gue mikir sendiri, "berarti masing-masing Rp200 ribu, mahal juga... eh tapi kalo dijadiin Yen sih, gak nyampe dua ribu yen. Ah, santai lah, paling jatah makan seminggu"
"Gak bisa sejam doang ya pak?", si Dimas kembali bertanya.
"Oh ya ndak bisa mas, harus dua jam"
Dimas noleh ke gue, menunggu keputusan dari gue. Karena pilihan tidak banyak, dan daripada resiko gak jadi main sama sekali, gue pun mengisyaratkan ke dia "iye udah ambil aja". Dengan begitu, kami pun akhirnya bisa main basket. Malem-malem buta. Berdua doang.
Hari masih sore, matahari belum hendak terbenam, jadi kami memutuskan untuk kembali ke rumah Dimas untuk menunggu jam 10 malam datang. We did all sorta things, dari main piano sambil nyanyi gak jelas, pesta curhat, cerita soal Manda dan Naya, dan sebagainya.
But yeah, yadda yadda yadda, long story short, waktu menunjukkan pukul 9 lewat sedikit, akhirnya kami berangkat ke lapangan tersebut. We had the whole court for ourselves, walaupun kami cuma pake half-court. Emang sih agak mubazir kesannya, tapi ya gimana lagi. We did play for the entire two hours, though. Well, not non-stop, we had water breaks of course, but still, we used most of that time for good use. Saying that it was 'fun' would be an enormous understatement. Dua jam tidak pernah terasa secepat kilat berlalu, but still, saying that, abis selesai main gue sempoyongan. Gue tentu saja udah gak sebugar dulu pas SMA. Gila aja, dulu SMA gue tiap minggu tiga kali berenang dan dua kali latihan basket, walaupun nilai gak karuan, at least badan gue terjaga. Lah sekarang, gue mau joging seminggu sekali aja susahnya minta ampun. Badan loyo, GPA lebih lagi.
Sesampainya di rumah Dimas, waktu sudah hampir jam 2 pagi. Gue langsung mandi, gosok gigi apa segala macem, dan bersiap untuk tidur. Yah, tapi layaknya dewasa muda abad ke-21, gue gak bisa tidur sebelum mantengin layar hape sampe mata kering. Manda mengirim beberapa pesan di saat gue sedang sibuk main basket, jadi gue jawab pesan-pesan tersebut, but knowing that she was already asleep, gue akhiri balasan gue dengan ucapan selamat malam.
Di tengah asik bergulir naik-turun di Instagram, tiba-tiba aplikasinya tutup tanpa permisi. Layar gue kosong. Lalu, muncul layar panggilan WhatsApp.
Ada telepon masuk.
Nomer telepon yang tertera di layar tidak bernama. Depannya +62, berarti nomer Indonesia. Awalnya, gue kira ini ulah Dimas yang iseng, mau ngejailin gue. Tetapi, saat gue noleh ke dia, dia lagi sibuk ngobrol sama pacarnya. Jantung gue entah kenapa berdebar-debar. Telapak tangan gue keringetan. Seumur hidup, belum pernah ada yang menelepon gue jam 2 pagi gini. Ini jangan-jangan... pembunuh bayaran?
Agak goblok emang, udah tau ada nomer gak diketahui nelepon-nelepon jam 2 pagi, tapi dengan rasa gugup dan khawatir, gue tetep angkat teleponnya.
"H-hello?", sapa gue, agak gemeteran.
"Hi...", jawab si penelepon.
Suaranya... suara perempuan. Suaranya sedikit serak, namun tuturnya halus dan lembut, hampir seperti berbisik. Suara yang terdengar asing di telinga gue.
"Ummm... Mia?", gue menyahut.
Sudah tiga hari gue tidak berbicara dengan Mia, sejak terakhir dia tidak menjawab pesan gue. Gue bisa menebak itu Mia karena gue baru inget, gue belum menyimpan nomer teleponnya di daftar kontak gue. Gak cuma itu, gue juga gak punya nomer telepon Manda, so that guess went straight outta the window. Kebanyakan dari teman-teman gue juga gak mungkin pake nomer Indonesia, karena mereka udah berserakan di berbagai negara berbeda. Even if they were in Indonesia, they had no business whatsoever calling me at 2 AM.
"What are you doing?", tanyanya, dengan suara yang lirih.
"Euuhh sorry, what was that?", gue tanya balik, soalnya gak kedengeran.
"What are you up to right now?"
"Oh, err w-well, I... I was just about to go to sleep actually, why are you still up this late?"
"Yeah? What did you do today?"
Kacang mahal.
"... ookay then, I uhmm, I was out with my friend today, actually we just got back from playing basketball ahaha, soo yeah. What about y-"
"Do you like blood?"
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
"Uuuhhhhhhhhh, why would y-I mean, what is t-blood? W-well, yeah... I guess? I do like blood, y-yeah. So long it stays inside my body, I like it. A lot"
"I like it too. I like blood. I like playing with it, it's fun"
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
"You know, I wanna cut some small animals. I'm gonna go get the knives"
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Hari udah mulai sore, dan kami belom makan siang, jadi kami memutuskan untuk pergi ke Pondok Indah Mall untuk makan, abis itu sekalian main basket.
Sesampainya di PIM, sebelum makan, kami mengunjungi salah satu optik yang ada di situ. Yang mau ke optik sebenernya gue, karena belakangan ini, gue kalo lagi baca buku, atau lagi di kelas, suka burem-burem gak jelas, jadi gue kira datang sudah hari di mana gue memerlukan kacamata baca. Pergi ke optik merupakan ide Dimas, karena awalnya gue mau cek ke klinik, tapi dia bilang cek di optik juga bisa, gratis, yowis lah, daripada ribet, mending sekalian.
Sesampainya di optik, gue langsung bertanya ke mas-mas yang jaga konter,
"Mas, anu, saya mau cek mata, bisa?"
Si mas pun menjawab,
"Bisa, silakan mas, ke sini"
Gue lalu disuruh melihat ke dalam sebuah mesin yang fungsinya gue kurang ngerti, sehabis itu, gue pindah ke tes di mana lo harus nyebutin huruf satu-satu, dari yang ukurannya besar sampe yang kecil.
"Coba mas, ini keliatan, huruf apa?"
"Emm iya, A"
"Kalo yang ini?"
"K"
"Coba, baris yang ini tolong dibaca semuanya mas"
"Emm L E I Q H G"
"... masih bisa kebaca mas?"
"... iyah, masih bisa sih"
"... oke, coba yang paling bawah, dibaca mas, huruf yang ketiga dari kiri"
"Ituu huruf J"
Hening.
"... mas yakin itu matanya burem?", tanya si penjaga konter, dengan nada penuh kecurigaan.
"... ya-yakin kok"
"Hmm masa iya ya? Soalnya kalo dari tes ini sih, mata mas masih bagus banget", timpalnya. Lah si mas kok malah ngegombal garing gini? Gue gak bakal kaget kalo selanjutnya dia nanyain gue "papa kamu astronot ya?"
"O-oh, gitu ya mas? Y-yaudah deh... kalo gitu... ehmm makasih ya", balas gue, sambil mengisyaratkan Dimas untuk langsung ngibrit dari lokasi. Kami berdua tengsin gak karuan.
Kami pun langsung ke restoran Bakmi GM untuk makan siang, dan selama makan, kami juga ngomongin rencana ke Bandung nanti, kira-kira mau ke mana dan ngapain aja. Gue juga baru hari itu ngasih tau si Raga kalo gue dan Dimas bakalan ke Bandung. I know it was kinda on a short notice, tapi untungnya, Raga, anak arsitek ITB yang jadwalnya relatif ketat, masih bisa meluangkan waktu untuk menemui kami.
Selesai makan, kami langsung ke Senayan, karena sepengetahuan kami, lapangan basket ABC masih ada dan bisa dipakai tanpa perlu booking. Ternyata eh ternyata, sesampainya kami di lokasi, lagi ada perombakan besar-besaran dalam rangka persiapan Asian Games 2018, semprul. Kami pun mencoba ke STC, tapi sayangnya, hari itu sudah penuh direservasi. Sebenernya agak lega juga sih, soalnya harga sewa lapangan di STC adalah Rp700 ribu per 2 jam, dan kami cuma main berdua, yang berarti masing-masing bayar... Rp350 ribu. Gue nangis men.
Karena gak dapet-dapet lapangan, kami pun mencoba browsing online, mencari-cari lapangan basket. Ada satu yang gue tau di Taman Menteng, tapi jauhnya masyaoloh. Terus gue inget, oiya, klub basket gue dulu kan sekarang punya home court yang disewain ke publik. Jadilah, kami telepon tempatnya, dan Alhamdulillah, si bapak di seberang telepon bilang ada jam kosong untuk bisa disewa.
"Oh, ada masih ada yang kosong ya pak? Itu jam berapa ya kalo boleh tau?", tanya si Dimas, yang kebagian jatah ngomong.
"Jam 10 sampai jam 12 malam, mas", kata si bapak, kedengeran lewat loudspeaker.
"Ooh oke, terus itu harganya berapa pak?"
"Rp400 ribu mas, dua jam"
Saat si bapak bilang Rp400 ribu, gue mikir sendiri, "berarti masing-masing Rp200 ribu, mahal juga... eh tapi kalo dijadiin Yen sih, gak nyampe dua ribu yen. Ah, santai lah, paling jatah makan seminggu"
"Gak bisa sejam doang ya pak?", si Dimas kembali bertanya.
"Oh ya ndak bisa mas, harus dua jam"
Dimas noleh ke gue, menunggu keputusan dari gue. Karena pilihan tidak banyak, dan daripada resiko gak jadi main sama sekali, gue pun mengisyaratkan ke dia "iye udah ambil aja". Dengan begitu, kami pun akhirnya bisa main basket. Malem-malem buta. Berdua doang.
Hari masih sore, matahari belum hendak terbenam, jadi kami memutuskan untuk kembali ke rumah Dimas untuk menunggu jam 10 malam datang. We did all sorta things, dari main piano sambil nyanyi gak jelas, pesta curhat, cerita soal Manda dan Naya, dan sebagainya.
But yeah, yadda yadda yadda, long story short, waktu menunjukkan pukul 9 lewat sedikit, akhirnya kami berangkat ke lapangan tersebut. We had the whole court for ourselves, walaupun kami cuma pake half-court. Emang sih agak mubazir kesannya, tapi ya gimana lagi. We did play for the entire two hours, though. Well, not non-stop, we had water breaks of course, but still, we used most of that time for good use. Saying that it was 'fun' would be an enormous understatement. Dua jam tidak pernah terasa secepat kilat berlalu, but still, saying that, abis selesai main gue sempoyongan. Gue tentu saja udah gak sebugar dulu pas SMA. Gila aja, dulu SMA gue tiap minggu tiga kali berenang dan dua kali latihan basket, walaupun nilai gak karuan, at least badan gue terjaga. Lah sekarang, gue mau joging seminggu sekali aja susahnya minta ampun. Badan loyo, GPA lebih lagi.
Sesampainya di rumah Dimas, waktu sudah hampir jam 2 pagi. Gue langsung mandi, gosok gigi apa segala macem, dan bersiap untuk tidur. Yah, tapi layaknya dewasa muda abad ke-21, gue gak bisa tidur sebelum mantengin layar hape sampe mata kering. Manda mengirim beberapa pesan di saat gue sedang sibuk main basket, jadi gue jawab pesan-pesan tersebut, but knowing that she was already asleep, gue akhiri balasan gue dengan ucapan selamat malam.
Di tengah asik bergulir naik-turun di Instagram, tiba-tiba aplikasinya tutup tanpa permisi. Layar gue kosong. Lalu, muncul layar panggilan WhatsApp.
Ada telepon masuk.
Nomer telepon yang tertera di layar tidak bernama. Depannya +62, berarti nomer Indonesia. Awalnya, gue kira ini ulah Dimas yang iseng, mau ngejailin gue. Tetapi, saat gue noleh ke dia, dia lagi sibuk ngobrol sama pacarnya. Jantung gue entah kenapa berdebar-debar. Telapak tangan gue keringetan. Seumur hidup, belum pernah ada yang menelepon gue jam 2 pagi gini. Ini jangan-jangan... pembunuh bayaran?
Agak goblok emang, udah tau ada nomer gak diketahui nelepon-nelepon jam 2 pagi, tapi dengan rasa gugup dan khawatir, gue tetep angkat teleponnya.
"H-hello?", sapa gue, agak gemeteran.
"Hi...", jawab si penelepon.
Suaranya... suara perempuan. Suaranya sedikit serak, namun tuturnya halus dan lembut, hampir seperti berbisik. Suara yang terdengar asing di telinga gue.
"Ummm... Mia?", gue menyahut.
Sudah tiga hari gue tidak berbicara dengan Mia, sejak terakhir dia tidak menjawab pesan gue. Gue bisa menebak itu Mia karena gue baru inget, gue belum menyimpan nomer teleponnya di daftar kontak gue. Gak cuma itu, gue juga gak punya nomer telepon Manda, so that guess went straight outta the window. Kebanyakan dari teman-teman gue juga gak mungkin pake nomer Indonesia, karena mereka udah berserakan di berbagai negara berbeda. Even if they were in Indonesia, they had no business whatsoever calling me at 2 AM.
"What are you doing?", tanyanya, dengan suara yang lirih.
"Euuhh sorry, what was that?", gue tanya balik, soalnya gak kedengeran.
"What are you up to right now?"
"Oh, err w-well, I... I was just about to go to sleep actually, why are you still up this late?"
"Yeah? What did you do today?"
Kacang mahal.
"... ookay then, I uhmm, I was out with my friend today, actually we just got back from playing basketball ahaha, soo yeah. What about y-"
"Do you like blood?"
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
"Uuuhhhhhhhhh, why would y-I mean, what is t-blood? W-well, yeah... I guess? I do like blood, y-yeah. So long it stays inside my body, I like it. A lot"
"I like it too. I like blood. I like playing with it, it's fun"
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
"You know, I wanna cut some small animals. I'm gonna go get the knives"
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
 |
| ?????????????????????????????? |
INI APA YANG SEDANG TERJADI YA? APA YANG MESTI SAYA LAKUKAN? TOLONG??????
Apakah dia sedang mabuk? Mungkin, tapi gue tau tingkah laku dan suara orang mabuk kayak gimana, dan dia tidak terdengar mabuk.
Apakah dia sedang menjahili gue, untuk merekam reaksi gue dan di-upload ke yutup? Mungkin juga, tapi ada sesuatu di dalam caranya berbicara yang terasa asli, terlalu sungguh-sungguh untuk sekadar iseng.
Apakah dia sedang di bawah pengaruh obat-obatan? Bisa aja sih, tapi ya itu lagi, dia tidak terdengar seperti orang yang lagi di bawah pengaruh apa-apa. Gue mau tanya ke dia langsung, tapi gue merasa gue tidak akan mendapat jawaban yang jelas dan pasti.
"ERHMMMMM HEY, YEAH, I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD BE ADVISABLE, P-PLEASE DON'T DO THAT", jawab gue. Bulu kuduk gue berdiri, mata gue melotot, keringat dingin jatuh dari dahi, just when I thought I've heard it all, she proved me wrong right there and then.
"Why? It's fun, you should try it some time, cut their tail, peel their skin", jawab Mia. Her voice turned menacing, her tone provocative, borderline flirtatious.
"Uuuuuuhhh HEY, HEY, LOOK, listen, I have an idea, what about we just talk instead? I've told you about my day, so now it's your turn to tell me mine, right?", gue berkata, mencoba untuk mengalihkan perhatian Mia dari keinginannya ngulitin binatang tidak bersalah.
"But I want blood. I want blood. If you don't let me cut animals, I'm just gonna cut myself"
MAMPUS GUE.
"NOOONONONONO WAAAIIT, OKAY, I-uhhhhhhh don't do that, don't do that, please d-don't that is not go-"
Tiba-tiba saja, Mia mulai menyenandungkan sebuah lagu yang jelas dia karang on the spot. Her lyrics unnerving, and the melody of her voice made my blood run cold. She sang about "sweet blood", "pain", and such.
Gue mencoba untuk tetap tenang dan berpikir dengan kepala dingin. Oke, ini emang logikanya tolol, apalagi dalam situasi seperti yang sedang gue hadapi, tapi gue mikir, kalo dia gak mau dilarang, mungkin gue bisa coba going along with her?
"That's, um... d-did you make up that song?", tanya gue.
"Did you like it?"
"Yeah, it's... nice. I like your singing, it's good"
"I like your voice too, I like listening to you"
"Uhh ahah yeah... t-thank you... I guess?"
"I like your voice too, I like listening to you"
"Uhh ahah yeah... t-thank you... I guess?"
Lalu, seakan terbangun dari mimpi, Mia tersentak,
"Oh m-oh my god, what am I... what hap-oh my god!"
Suaranya mendadak berubah. Dia terdengar kaget, bingung, dan juga takut. Isakan tangis samar-samar terdengar dari seberang telepon.
"Hey... are you feeling okay Mia?"
Dengan tersedan-sedan, Mia menjawab,
"... no, I dunno, I-", her sentence interrupted, she gasped.
"... they're coming"
"Ummmmm who's 'they'?"
"Oh no, no, they're coming!", tuturnya lagi, masih terisak. Kali ini, ia benar-benar berbisik, seakan sedang bersembunyi dari seseorang.
"Mia? What are you talking about? Who's coming?"
"They're gonna hurt me"
Di titik ini, gue gak punya kartu lain yang bisa dimainkan, other than just listen to her and try to comfort her. I had no idea what was up with her, but I was sure that whatever it was, it was real.
"Hey, listen, Mia... there's no one there, okay? No one's gonna come to hurt you. You hear me? You're gonna be okay, okay? Everything's gonna be fine. Just talk to me, I'm here, you're all safe"
"... okay"
The situation's calmed down a little, and she then went on talking about herself, at times asking me for some sort of 'approval', or perhaps 'praise' would be the more suitable word.
That... was not the end of it. It went on for about a good 30 minutes, and it was sorta like a cycle. It was as if I was talking to two, or maybe even three, different people. Seakan-akan, ada tiga versi dari Mia, satu yang terobsesi dengan tingkah menyakiti, baik diri sendiri maupun orang/makhluk lain, satu yang paranoid berlebih, dan yang satu lagi yang suka cari perhatian, layaknya anak kecil.
There are a few things she said that really stood out to me, I think it was from her violent version. She talked, or rather theorize, about how God only made humans so that He could kill them, and she went on saying that that means by killing others, we're technically helping God. Now, I don't think that's deep, or correct, or made any sense, but the way she talked about it, how she's so sure of this mind-bogglingly absurd point of view, the way she described taking another human being's life in graphic detail, it was an experience and a half, I'm telling you.
Gue juga sempat ngomong ke dia,
"Hey, look, it's getting really late, and I think what you need is a good night's sleep, and I promise you, you'll feel all better when you wake up, don't you think so?"
To which, she answered,
"No. That's what they told me to do. What, are you gonna tell me to take my medicine as well?"
Meskipun begitu, setelah gue bujuk mati-matian, Mia akhirnya mau pergi tidur. I got some help from Dimas, I have to admit. At one point, I put her on speakers so Dimas could listen, and then he gave me instructions, basically telling me to "avert her from all the negative things, avoid using words like "kill, murder, etc.", and just reassure her that everything will be fine", and lo and behold, it calmed her down. Gue juga setelah itu langsung pergi tidur.
Keesokan harinya, I texted her, making sure she's alive and well.
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
"Hai, I'm good! It's nice of you to contact me, even though I haven't replied to your text in days", jawabnya.
"Hahah yeah, no worries"
Gue mikir sebentar.
"So... you remember what happened last night?", I asked.
"Of course I do, why do you ask? That question was a bit weird, no?"
"Ooh okay ahaha yeah, I suppose"
"Wait, wait... I called you"
"You did"
"What did I say? Was I mumbling? Was it like sleep talking?"
"So you have no recollection of it?"
"Last night, I did my tasks, watched youtube, then called my ex-girlfriend, then got a little mental breakdown. Crying and such. Then I fell asleep, because I usually sleep after I cry"
"So... you don't remember calling me at all?"
"Yeah, but... it's on my call history"
"Yeah, because that actually happened. You talked for thirty minutes, and some of the things you said worried me"
"I'll try to remember, but later on, okay? I'm still in class and it hurts to remember things"
"Right, I'm sorry"
"Something must've really happened, because I woke up with some blood and three knives on my bed, but... I have no idea I called you... I'm sorry"
"Listen, just focus on your class for now, we can talk about this later, okay?"
"Did I cry?"
"Yes. A little"
"How did I sound?"
"You constantly changed throughout that thirty minutes of talking, you also laughed and giggled a lot"
Hening sejenak.
"Can we just... forget about it?"
Dengan ragu, gue pun menjawab,
"... okay"
Gue bohong.
Setelah kejadian itu, kami tetap saling menghubungi satu sama lain, dan sesudah ngobrol lebih jauh, barulah Mia memberi tahu ke gue, kalo ternyata dia punya kepribadian ambang, atau Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Kasarnya, and she said this herself, dia ini kondisinya diambang-ambang, so there's sanity and there's insanity, and there's her, right in between. She said she sometimes lost touch with reality, but other times she's completely normal. Dia juga menjelaskan perihal borderline personality disorder stigma. Basically, because of its nature, banyak orang, bahkan profesional sekalipun, yang memandang kondisi ini sebelah mata, karena kebanyakan dari orang dengan kondisi tersebut dicap sebagai manipulatif, "drama queens", "demanding", "attention-seekers", dan bahkan "treatment resistant". Karena stigma ini pula Mia sulit mendapat pengobatan yang layak, karena begitu liat BPD, dokternya udah langsung ogah.
Do I believe this whole BPD thing she said?
I mean, yes, of course, there's no reason for me not to. It does sound a bit naïve, but I mean, I dunno. I trust my gut feeling for this one, and ever since Naya's gone, my gut's no longer feeling funky.
And besides, naïvety is kinda my shtick, not gonna lie.
Dengan tersedan-sedan, Mia menjawab,
"... no, I dunno, I-", her sentence interrupted, she gasped.
"... they're coming"
"Ummmmm who's 'they'?"
"Oh no, no, they're coming!", tuturnya lagi, masih terisak. Kali ini, ia benar-benar berbisik, seakan sedang bersembunyi dari seseorang.
"Mia? What are you talking about? Who's coming?"
"They're gonna hurt me"
Di titik ini, gue gak punya kartu lain yang bisa dimainkan, other than just listen to her and try to comfort her. I had no idea what was up with her, but I was sure that whatever it was, it was real.
"Hey, listen, Mia... there's no one there, okay? No one's gonna come to hurt you. You hear me? You're gonna be okay, okay? Everything's gonna be fine. Just talk to me, I'm here, you're all safe"
"... okay"
The situation's calmed down a little, and she then went on talking about herself, at times asking me for some sort of 'approval', or perhaps 'praise' would be the more suitable word.
That... was not the end of it. It went on for about a good 30 minutes, and it was sorta like a cycle. It was as if I was talking to two, or maybe even three, different people. Seakan-akan, ada tiga versi dari Mia, satu yang terobsesi dengan tingkah menyakiti, baik diri sendiri maupun orang/makhluk lain, satu yang paranoid berlebih, dan yang satu lagi yang suka cari perhatian, layaknya anak kecil.
There are a few things she said that really stood out to me, I think it was from her violent version. She talked, or rather theorize, about how God only made humans so that He could kill them, and she went on saying that that means by killing others, we're technically helping God. Now, I don't think that's deep, or correct, or made any sense, but the way she talked about it, how she's so sure of this mind-bogglingly absurd point of view, the way she described taking another human being's life in graphic detail, it was an experience and a half, I'm telling you.
Gue juga sempat ngomong ke dia,
"Hey, look, it's getting really late, and I think what you need is a good night's sleep, and I promise you, you'll feel all better when you wake up, don't you think so?"
To which, she answered,
"No. That's what they told me to do. What, are you gonna tell me to take my medicine as well?"
Meskipun begitu, setelah gue bujuk mati-matian, Mia akhirnya mau pergi tidur. I got some help from Dimas, I have to admit. At one point, I put her on speakers so Dimas could listen, and then he gave me instructions, basically telling me to "avert her from all the negative things, avoid using words like "kill, murder, etc.", and just reassure her that everything will be fine", and lo and behold, it calmed her down. Gue juga setelah itu langsung pergi tidur.
Keesokan harinya, I texted her, making sure she's alive and well.
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
"Hai, I'm good! It's nice of you to contact me, even though I haven't replied to your text in days", jawabnya.
"Hahah yeah, no worries"
Gue mikir sebentar.
"So... you remember what happened last night?", I asked.
"Of course I do, why do you ask? That question was a bit weird, no?"
"Ooh okay ahaha yeah, I suppose"
"Wait, wait... I called you"
"You did"
"What did I say? Was I mumbling? Was it like sleep talking?"
"So you have no recollection of it?"
"Last night, I did my tasks, watched youtube, then called my ex-girlfriend, then got a little mental breakdown. Crying and such. Then I fell asleep, because I usually sleep after I cry"
"So... you don't remember calling me at all?"
"Yeah, but... it's on my call history"
"Yeah, because that actually happened. You talked for thirty minutes, and some of the things you said worried me"
"I'll try to remember, but later on, okay? I'm still in class and it hurts to remember things"
"Right, I'm sorry"
"Something must've really happened, because I woke up with some blood and three knives on my bed, but... I have no idea I called you... I'm sorry"
"Listen, just focus on your class for now, we can talk about this later, okay?"
"Did I cry?"
"Yes. A little"
"How did I sound?"
"You constantly changed throughout that thirty minutes of talking, you also laughed and giggled a lot"
Hening sejenak.
"Can we just... forget about it?"
Dengan ragu, gue pun menjawab,
"... okay"
Gue bohong.
Setelah kejadian itu, kami tetap saling menghubungi satu sama lain, dan sesudah ngobrol lebih jauh, barulah Mia memberi tahu ke gue, kalo ternyata dia punya kepribadian ambang, atau Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Kasarnya, and she said this herself, dia ini kondisinya diambang-ambang, so there's sanity and there's insanity, and there's her, right in between. She said she sometimes lost touch with reality, but other times she's completely normal. Dia juga menjelaskan perihal borderline personality disorder stigma. Basically, because of its nature, banyak orang, bahkan profesional sekalipun, yang memandang kondisi ini sebelah mata, karena kebanyakan dari orang dengan kondisi tersebut dicap sebagai manipulatif, "drama queens", "demanding", "attention-seekers", dan bahkan "treatment resistant". Karena stigma ini pula Mia sulit mendapat pengobatan yang layak, karena begitu liat BPD, dokternya udah langsung ogah.
Do I believe this whole BPD thing she said?
I mean, yes, of course, there's no reason for me not to. It does sound a bit naïve, but I mean, I dunno. I trust my gut feeling for this one, and ever since Naya's gone, my gut's no longer feeling funky.
And besides, naïvety is kinda my shtick, not gonna lie.
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