The Ships of Relation - Violets Aren't Blue
Yes I know I have a lot of time. Yes I know I haven't been posting a lot. And yes, I know there's a lot that I still need to post. Shut up ok. But here's one thing that I haven't talked about in a while. A girl.
Ah yes, relationships. My one and only weakness. Along with other activities that involve interaction with other human being.
Ah yes, relationships. My one and only weakness. Along with other activities that involve interaction with other human being.
Fak, that was not a good start.
Ehm, but yeah, selama 18 tahun gue hidup, I've only been in one relationship. And yes, I do know there are some people around my age or even older yang belom pernah punya pacar sama sekali. Tapi tetep, satu sama nol beda tipis ok, so we're pretty much on the same boat here. Untuk orang-orang seumuran gue di masa kini, baru pernah punya satu pacar itu tidak memenuhi standar minimum untuk kualifikasi "remaja gaul".
But yeah, it's been a while sejak gue ngomongin hal yang berhubungan dengan cewek yang gue suka, or just cewek in general, really. Kenapa? Baiklah, coba anda teliti foto di bawah ini.
Bagaimana perasaan anda sekarang? Mual? Pengen e'ek? Terancam? Atau semuanya? Yeah, exactly, now you see what I'm trying to say. Gue itu salah satu cowok di kampus yang bisa bikin cowok lain terlihat lebih ganteng.
Tapi, meskipun begitu, percaya atau nggak, gue udah deket dengan satu orang cukup lama. So close to the point where we've pretty much confessed to each other but don't wanna really do anything about it because LDR high risk and we're trying to take the safe way roundbut in all honesty I really want a gf sigh plz someone anyone. So, who is this girl? And yes, it is in fact a girl, a female, and she's surprisingly not from another dimension. She's a human girl.
Oke, how should I start the story. Mungkin lebih baik kalo gue lanjutin dari terakhir gue berhenti ngomongin cewek. So where was I? Oh, right, Left.
Itu cuma rebound. No big deal. I regret the fact that I liked her for a very shallow reason. She's hot. Period. Hey shatap ok, a breakup can do a lot of things to your physical and mental health. But yea, as I said, gue sekarang mempertanyakan diri gue sendiri kok bisa-bisanya gue suka sama dia. Now that that's out of the way, on to the next matter.
Saat itu, gue baru awal-awal intern sebagai TA di sekolah gue. Tanggal 11 Agustus 2015 tepatnya. Hari Selasa. Abis nimbrung latihan basket. Gue lagi sama Ungu, salah satu temen/junior gue. Gue nungguin ojek langganan gue untuk dateng, sedangkan dia nungguin supirnya. Di sela-sela percakapan kita, gue mainin Tinder gue karena bosen. Yep, setelah kompetisi Tinder gue dengan temen-temen gue selesai, gue lanjut main Tinder. Gak cuma gue sih sebenernya, Laki sama Estrella juga lanjut main Tinder. Gue dan Laki main cuma karena seru aja, kalo lagi bosen dan mati gaya, kita mainin deh tuh aplikasi gesek kiri-kanan. Kalo dapet match, yaudah Alhamdulillah, cool cool, terus kita lanjut gesek, gak perlu ajak ngobrol. Kalo Estrella sih beda cerita, dia emang beneran pengen dapet jodoh lewat aplikasi tersebut.
Jadi di situlah gue, nungguin ojek dateng sambil swipe kiri-kanan, kebanyakan kiri. Untuk orang jelek, standar gue tingginya emang gak karuan ya. Satu demi satu profil orang gue "like" dan "dislike", sampe muncul satu orang. "Agar". Umurnya beda setahun sama gue. Foto yang dia pasang merupakan foto dia dan dua temennya di pesta halloween. Ada juga foto dia sama temen-temennya gerombolan, dan satu foto dia dari samping, tapi dari semua foto yang dia pasang, ga ada yang jelas nunjukkin mukanya. Bio yang dia pasang cuma "Roses are red. Violets aren't blue". Masih gak kegambar juga orangnya kayak gimana. Cuma satu yang gue tau, dia Chinese, soalnya temen-temen di fotonya merem semua. Yes, my detective skills emang wao, impeccable. Gue udah mau swipe ke kiri profil dia, but I hesitated. Abis melongo selama beberapa detik, gue pun ngomong dalam hati, "eh, what the heck, what do I have to lose", and swiped right.
"It's a match!"
Wuih.
Jarang-jarang gue swipe kanan terus dapet match. Also, untuk kalian yang tidak tau ini artinya apa, ini berarti dia nge-like gue duluan. Yap, fenomena yang sangat jarang terjadi.
But yeah, after that, respon gue cuma "oh, tumben", terus lanjut lagi menjelajahi profil berbagai macam cewek. Di tengah-tengah keseriusan gue main Tinder, Ungu, yang ternyata memperhatikan apa yang sedang gue lakukan, tiba-tiba nanya,
"Masih maen Tinder lo, Ror?"
"Hng? Oh, iya nih. Gue masih suka main kalo bosen"
"Gue mau coba dong, kayak gimana sih Tinder"
"Err yaudah nih, tapi jangan main asal like ye"
"Iye santai, gue juga punya standar kali"
Abis ngomong gitu, langsung dia gesek kanan semua profil dengan brutal.
"HEH NGEPET, BARU AJA GUE BILANGIN", bentak gue sembari nyomot hape gue dari tangan Ungu untuk menghentikan tingkah anarkisnya.
"Hahahahaha yaelah Ror, santai aja sih, emang kenapa kalo gue like semua?"
"Lah nanti kalo ada yang aneh-aneh terus gue diperkaos gimana?"
"Diperkaos apaan Ror?"
"Perkosa. Biar gak terlalu vulgar gitu."
"Ooh. Yeilah, geer banget lo, kayak ada yang bakalan mau memperkaos lo aja"
"Bener sih. But still, who knows men, gue kan jaga aman."
Gue pun berhenti main Tinder dan lanjut ngobrol dengan Ungu.
Tiba-tiba, di tengah percakapan, hape gue bunyi. Gue udah seneng, kirain si abang ojek nelfon atau SMS udah deket. Eh, taunya Tinder.
"Congratulations, you have a match!"
Gue bukalah itu aplikasi, dan liat dengan siapa gue match.
"Ini siapa pula, gue gak inget nge-like dia"
"Oh mungkin itu salah satu yang gue like kali. Coba liat...oh iya Ror, itu gue yang swipe kanan. Tuh kan, metode gue ampuh buat dapetin match Ror."
"Iyadeh, congrats, makasih"
"Coba Ror, sini, gue mau ajak ngomong. Gue liatin lo conversation starter yang ampuh."
"Emang gimana caranya?"
"Lo harus pake pickup line yang lucu Ror, sini hape lo"
"Gaya lu nyet, yaudah nih"
Gue pun nyerahin hape gue ke Ungu, dan menyaksikan dengan seksama apa yang dimaksud Ungu dengan "pickup line lucu".
Mulailah dia ngetik.
Ungu: "Knock knock"
Cewek tinder: "Siapa di sanaa?"
Ungu: "Cream"
Setelah dia ngetik kata tersebut, perasaan gue mulai gaenak.
"Cream? Cream? Apaan tuh, ga ada bagus-bagusnya nyet."
"Ror, udah deh, lo diem aja. Liat dulu nih."
Cewek tinder: "Cream siapa yaa?"
Ungu: "Cream pie"
Dasar pentol korek.
"LO SAMPAH YE, INI APA LUCUNYA NYET, INI SIH JOROK"
"HAHAHAHA TUNGGU BENTAR ROR, COBA KITA LIAT RESPON SI CEWEKNYA, NGERTI APA NGGAK"
Selang 30 detik.
Cewek tinder: "Hahahaha lucuu"
Sungguh manusia yang steril, cewek satu ini.
"Tuh Ror, liat, dia bilang lucu"
"Iye, berarti dia nggak ngerti arti cream pie, bukan gara-gara lo emang lucu"
"Hahahaha ck kayak lo bisa lebih bagus aja sih"
"Eh, nantangin. Yaudah, sini coba, giliran gue"
Gue pun memulai chat dengan match yang gue dapet lebih awal, si Agar.
Gue: "Hey, I think you dropped something"
Selang 5 menit.
"Mane Ror, gak dijawab", celetuk si Ungu
"Sabar dikit napa lu ah"
18 menit kemudian.
Agar: "What?"
Gue: "Your standards. Hi, my name's Rory"
Agar: "Hahahaha hi"
Gue pun menggosok layar hape gue di muka Ungu. Tidak secara harfiah, tentunya.
"Nih, liat nih, nih, makan nih, now this is what you call a pick up line"
"Hahahahaha anjir boleh juga lo Ror"
Dan gak lama setelah itu, mobil si Ungu dateng juga, dan ojek gue masih entah di mana. Ungu nawarin balik bareng, dan alhasil gue pulang bareng dia.
Di mobil, gue lanjut ngobrol dengan Agar, basa-basi sana-sini lah. That is sampe hape gue abis batere dan gue harus nunggu nyampe rumah dulu biar bisa lanjut ngobrol sama dia. Sesampainya di rumah, gue charge henfon, dan lanjut ngobrol. Kita pun ngobrolin urusan sekolah dan hal-hal akademik. Ya, gue ternyata bisa ngomongin hal-hal begituan. Gue cerita soal gue yang udah lulus SMA dan gue saat itu lagi intern nunggu kuliah, dan gue lulus setahun lebih cepet gara-gara kelas akselerasi pas SD. Dia cerita kalo dia masih duduk di kelas 11 di sekolah yang sepertinya lebih baik gue tidak beberkan dan seperti anak-anak SMA lainnya, dia sedang menderita. Gue juga cerita kalo gue tadinya mau ambil major yang berbau-bau biologi di universitas, tapi otak gue tidak mampu and I just couldn't be bothered anymore jadi gue banting setir ke ekonomi. Dia juga cerita kalo dia juga tertarik sama biologi dan pengen juga ambil mata kuliah yang berbau biologi.
"Wow I think this is the most educational and academic related conversation I've ever had", ujar dia.
"Yeah, same goes for me. What topic should we talk about, then?"
"What music do you listen to?"
And basically, yeah, selera musik kita hampir sama. Gak cuma selera musik, pretty much every other interests I have dia juga suka. Harry Potter, Adventure Time, Daft Punk, and many more. Except basketball. She only does yoga. And she also jogs. Occasionally. Kalo ada waktu katanya sih. But yeah, then she found out I have a SoundCloud, listened to my age old cover of Jamie Cullum's "Everlasting Love" and she just frantically said,
"BTW YOU LISTEN TO JAMIE CULLUM TOO?!"
"YES"
"DUDE. FATE HAS BROUGHT US TOGETHER."
Wuaw.
Now that's something I've never heard before. Mantan aja gak pernah bilang gitu.
And afterwards, dia juga ngasih tau SoundCloud punya dia. She made a cover of Karen O's "Moon Song", salah satu soundtrack dari film Her.
"Erhmahgerd can I tell you something", ujar dia.
"Yea sure, what is it?"
"So far, you're the only person yang punya this much in common with me"
Wuaw.
Now that's something I've never heard before. Mantan aja gak pernah bilang gitu.
Oke, maaf, saya emang kurang kreatif. Anggep aja ini majas repetisi.
Tapi ya gitu, gue udah bisa denger lagu-lagu best hits Kahitna berkumandang di kepala gue. Jomblonya udah tingkat tidak terselamatkan emang.
And so, minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks, and we're still chatting to each other on a daily basis.
Setelah beberapa lama kita ngobrol dan udah ada mutual trust in each other that neither of us were a fat, slimy 40 year old sexual predator with a bushy mustache, gue pun nanya ke dia,
"Hey, what other social media do you use for chatting?"
"Err mainly WhatsApp and LINE, why?"
"Gapapa, it's just that I wanna delete Tinder. Boros memori. And I only use it to talk to you, so yeah."
"Hmm iya ya, bikin boros batere pula. Yaudah, I'll add you on both"
And so I gave my number, even though I was a bit hesitant at first karena walaupun gue udah percaya sama dia, tetep aja, kita belom pernah ketemu face to face jadi percayanya juga gak 100%. But I did anyway, and voila, she's on my WhatsApp and LINE contact list.
Everything was going fine and well, until one night. Dia udah mau tidur, gue juga sama, udah saling ngucapin "goodnight" and all that, tapi selang beberapa menit kemudian, hape gue bunyi. Pesan dari Agar.
"Hey, are you still up?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
"I think we need to talk about something."
Deg. Fak.
Berdasarkan pelem-pelem drama yang sudah saya tonton, kalo cewek bilang dia "pengen ngomong" ke cowok, nasib si cowok hanya akan berakhir naas. Entah kenapa pas dia bilang gitu, hal pertama yang muncul di kepala gue adalah "wah sialan, dia punya titit nih". Tapi untungnya nggak, dia nggak punya titit.
"Umm sure. Talk about what, exactly?"
"We have to make sure that we are both on the 'same page'. I mean, like, before anyone gets hurt because they expect something the other didn't."
"Ooh okay. So..."
"This may seem abrupt but I think it's necessary, but if you find it uncomfortable then it's ok. So are you uncomfortable"
"Naah, I'm fine. I mean why would I be bothered by honesty?"
"Well, some people are. So. Let's begin. What do you think of me and where do you think this relationship is going?"
Bujubuset. Gue gak siap menhadapi pertanyaan ini. Karena takut ngambil langkah pertama (as I always do), gue pun ngeles dan mencoba untuk mancing dia biar dia duluan yang ngomong.
"Ummmm okay, I'm still kinda half awake, and I need time to process what you just asked, so why don't you go first? Besides, it is your idea to begin with, right?"
"Okay then"
Wah, berhasil.
"I think I've told you before that I've never known anyone with so much in common with me as you. And that is great because I've always wanted to know someone like that. Also, you are one of the very few people that I find fun to talk to. I think we can be really great friends. We can even be more than friends, who knows? Only problem is I've never met you in real life so yeah. Also, you're leaving for Japan next year so the possibility of the latter is very low but it exists. Your turn."
Wao.
Waoaooaoaowoaoaoaowaowao.
Ada apa ini? Apa yang sedang terjadi? Di mana ini? Ini tahun berapa? Siapa saya?
Gue langsung screenshot chat-nya dan gue dengan nggak nyantai mencoba untuk menghubungi Dimas.
"Dims. Dims. Dims. Dimdimdsdimsdimsdimsdimsdimsdimdsdismdimsidmismdmds."
Lalu gue kirim screenshot-nya, terus gue balik ke Agar. Setelah kerja keras memproses that one big chunk of a paragraph, gue pun mencoba untuk merangkai kata-kata sebaik mungkin, dan gue kirim deh.
"I feel the same way about you. I've never known anyone that likes pretty much everything I like. You even like Adventure Time. And you know, I truly feel like we can be more than just friends. Problem is, as you said, I'm going to Japan and we've never even seen each other's faces. Oh and also..."
Lalu tiba-tiba dia nyerobot ngomong,
"OH not to mention there's also religion in the way"
"Hahaha yeah, I was just about to mention that. Another thing, you're Chinese, so..."
"Yeap. And that."
For some of you that don't know, most, not all, but most Chinese parents tend to be racist. And her parents, unfortunately, is within that 'most'.
"I know the chances are slim, but there is a chance and who knows, right?", ujar dia.
"Hahaha yep, that is true"
"But yeah...first things first, we have to at least see each other in person"
"Err...well..when are you free?"
"Umm...I was thinking maybe we can Skype first"
Gue gondok.
"Ah, yes, that is indeed a good idea"
"Okay soo I'll add your Skype?"
"Oh, right, it's bigbootylover"
"Eh kok ga ada?"
"Ah, sorry, it's bigbootylover69, bigbootylover was taken"
"Okay. Added yah"
"Righty, request accepted"
"Okay then, I'm gonna go sleep now. Besok masih sekolah."
"Yeah, same here, masih intern hahah"
"Goodnight, Rory"
"Goodnight, Agar"
Abis itu gue liat notifikasi. Dimas udah jawab.
"Wuiiiih pasti rasanya berbunga-bunga ya itu Ror hahahaha"
"Parah Dims. Gue gak bisa tidur ini jadinya HAHA"
"Hehe yaudah Ror, congrats ya"
"Hah congrats apaan hoi, orang gak kenapa-kenapa, bukan jadian ini"
"Hahahaha ya gapapa Ror, kan tetep spesial"
"Hahah iyadeh Dims, makasih"
Terus gue bangun sampe jam 2, gak bisa tidur.
So over the course of, I dunno, more than a year now, we've Skyped, FaceTimed, and even went out a couple of times. As friends, of course, because yeah. We decided that with me going to college and whatnot, playing it safe would be the best way round for both of us. We both know that even if this doesn't lead to anything later on, even though it'll hurt and neither of us are looking forward to it, at least the pain wouldn't be as bad compared to if we actually establish a serious relationship.
Holy moly that just got way too real. Mari kita lanjut.
Dan ya, dia juga sempet dateng untuk send off gue sebelum gue terbang ke Jepang. Masalahnya cuma satu: nyokapnya juga ikut. Padahal jadian aja belom.
So yeah, the send off was rather awkward, soalnya gue lebih banyak diinterogasi nyokapnya Agar instaed of actually talking with Agar herself. Gak cuma itu, Dimas, yang juga hadir, stole the spotlight from me.
"Kamu ini mau berangkat ke mana?", tanya nyokapnya si Agar.
"Ke Jepang tante ahahah", jawab gue, terintimidasi.
"Ooh oke. Kalo kamu, udah kuliah juga? Di Jepang juga?", tanya si nyokapnya Agar, sekarang beralih ke Dimas.
"Oh, nggak tante, aku udah kuliah, tapi aku di UK. Di UCL", jawab Dimas ramah.
"Oooh gimana di UK? Enak? Hidupnya gak susah? Ngambil jurusan apa?"
Lho lho lho lho, sek sek sek, kok jadi gini. Gue curiga, ini diem-diem nyokapnya Agar lebih setuju anaknya sama si Dimas daripada sama gue.
So yeah, as I flew to Japan, I thought to myself, "what could possibly go wrong? I'm sure I can wait. I waited 15 years for my first relationship, I'm sure I can wait this time round. Gak cuma itu, it's not like I'm gonna be close with a girl later on or something, right?"
Boy.
Was I wrong.
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| Sampah masyarakat. |
Tapi, meskipun begitu, percaya atau nggak, gue udah deket dengan satu orang cukup lama. So close to the point where we've pretty much confessed to each other but don't wanna really do anything about it because LDR high risk and we're trying to take the safe way round
Oke, how should I start the story. Mungkin lebih baik kalo gue lanjutin dari terakhir gue berhenti ngomongin cewek. So where was I? Oh, right, Left.
Itu cuma rebound. No big deal. I regret the fact that I liked her for a very shallow reason. She's hot. Period. Hey shatap ok, a breakup can do a lot of things to your physical and mental health. But yea, as I said, gue sekarang mempertanyakan diri gue sendiri kok bisa-bisanya gue suka sama dia. Now that that's out of the way, on to the next matter.
Saat itu, gue baru awal-awal intern sebagai TA di sekolah gue. Tanggal 11 Agustus 2015 tepatnya. Hari Selasa. Abis nimbrung latihan basket. Gue lagi sama Ungu, salah satu temen/junior gue. Gue nungguin ojek langganan gue untuk dateng, sedangkan dia nungguin supirnya. Di sela-sela percakapan kita, gue mainin Tinder gue karena bosen. Yep, setelah kompetisi Tinder gue dengan temen-temen gue selesai, gue lanjut main Tinder. Gak cuma gue sih sebenernya, Laki sama Estrella juga lanjut main Tinder. Gue dan Laki main cuma karena seru aja, kalo lagi bosen dan mati gaya, kita mainin deh tuh aplikasi gesek kiri-kanan. Kalo dapet match, yaudah Alhamdulillah, cool cool, terus kita lanjut gesek, gak perlu ajak ngobrol. Kalo Estrella sih beda cerita, dia emang beneran pengen dapet jodoh lewat aplikasi tersebut.
Jadi di situlah gue, nungguin ojek dateng sambil swipe kiri-kanan, kebanyakan kiri. Untuk orang jelek, standar gue tingginya emang gak karuan ya. Satu demi satu profil orang gue "like" dan "dislike", sampe muncul satu orang. "Agar". Umurnya beda setahun sama gue. Foto yang dia pasang merupakan foto dia dan dua temennya di pesta halloween. Ada juga foto dia sama temen-temennya gerombolan, dan satu foto dia dari samping, tapi dari semua foto yang dia pasang, ga ada yang jelas nunjukkin mukanya. Bio yang dia pasang cuma "Roses are red. Violets aren't blue". Masih gak kegambar juga orangnya kayak gimana. Cuma satu yang gue tau, dia Chinese, soalnya temen-temen di fotonya merem semua. Yes, my detective skills emang wao, impeccable. Gue udah mau swipe ke kiri profil dia, but I hesitated. Abis melongo selama beberapa detik, gue pun ngomong dalam hati, "eh, what the heck, what do I have to lose", and swiped right.
"It's a match!"
Wuih.
Jarang-jarang gue swipe kanan terus dapet match. Also, untuk kalian yang tidak tau ini artinya apa, ini berarti dia nge-like gue duluan. Yap, fenomena yang sangat jarang terjadi.
But yeah, after that, respon gue cuma "oh, tumben", terus lanjut lagi menjelajahi profil berbagai macam cewek. Di tengah-tengah keseriusan gue main Tinder, Ungu, yang ternyata memperhatikan apa yang sedang gue lakukan, tiba-tiba nanya,
"Masih maen Tinder lo, Ror?"
"Hng? Oh, iya nih. Gue masih suka main kalo bosen"
"Gue mau coba dong, kayak gimana sih Tinder"
"Err yaudah nih, tapi jangan main asal like ye"
"Iye santai, gue juga punya standar kali"
Abis ngomong gitu, langsung dia gesek kanan semua profil dengan brutal.
"HEH NGEPET, BARU AJA GUE BILANGIN", bentak gue sembari nyomot hape gue dari tangan Ungu untuk menghentikan tingkah anarkisnya.
"Hahahahaha yaelah Ror, santai aja sih, emang kenapa kalo gue like semua?"
"Lah nanti kalo ada yang aneh-aneh terus gue diperkaos gimana?"
"Diperkaos apaan Ror?"
"Perkosa. Biar gak terlalu vulgar gitu."
"Ooh. Yeilah, geer banget lo, kayak ada yang bakalan mau memperkaos lo aja"
"Bener sih. But still, who knows men, gue kan jaga aman."
Gue pun berhenti main Tinder dan lanjut ngobrol dengan Ungu.
Tiba-tiba, di tengah percakapan, hape gue bunyi. Gue udah seneng, kirain si abang ojek nelfon atau SMS udah deket. Eh, taunya Tinder.
"Congratulations, you have a match!"
Gue bukalah itu aplikasi, dan liat dengan siapa gue match.
"Ini siapa pula, gue gak inget nge-like dia"
"Oh mungkin itu salah satu yang gue like kali. Coba liat...oh iya Ror, itu gue yang swipe kanan. Tuh kan, metode gue ampuh buat dapetin match Ror."
"Iyadeh, congrats, makasih"
"Coba Ror, sini, gue mau ajak ngomong. Gue liatin lo conversation starter yang ampuh."
"Emang gimana caranya?"
"Lo harus pake pickup line yang lucu Ror, sini hape lo"
"Gaya lu nyet, yaudah nih"
Gue pun nyerahin hape gue ke Ungu, dan menyaksikan dengan seksama apa yang dimaksud Ungu dengan "pickup line lucu".
Mulailah dia ngetik.
Ungu: "Knock knock"
Cewek tinder: "Siapa di sanaa?"
Ungu: "Cream"
Setelah dia ngetik kata tersebut, perasaan gue mulai gaenak.
"Cream? Cream? Apaan tuh, ga ada bagus-bagusnya nyet."
"Ror, udah deh, lo diem aja. Liat dulu nih."
Cewek tinder: "Cream siapa yaa?"
Ungu: "Cream pie"
Dasar pentol korek.
"LO SAMPAH YE, INI APA LUCUNYA NYET, INI SIH JOROK"
"HAHAHAHA TUNGGU BENTAR ROR, COBA KITA LIAT RESPON SI CEWEKNYA, NGERTI APA NGGAK"
Selang 30 detik.
Cewek tinder: "Hahahaha lucuu"
Sungguh manusia yang steril, cewek satu ini.
"Tuh Ror, liat, dia bilang lucu"
"Iye, berarti dia nggak ngerti arti cream pie, bukan gara-gara lo emang lucu"
"Hahahaha ck kayak lo bisa lebih bagus aja sih"
"Eh, nantangin. Yaudah, sini coba, giliran gue"
Gue pun memulai chat dengan match yang gue dapet lebih awal, si Agar.
Gue: "Hey, I think you dropped something"
Selang 5 menit.
"Mane Ror, gak dijawab", celetuk si Ungu
"Sabar dikit napa lu ah"
18 menit kemudian.
Agar: "What?"
Gue: "Your standards. Hi, my name's Rory"
Agar: "Hahahaha hi"
Gue pun menggosok layar hape gue di muka Ungu. Tidak secara harfiah, tentunya.
"Nih, liat nih, nih, makan nih, now this is what you call a pick up line"
"Hahahahaha anjir boleh juga lo Ror"
Dan gak lama setelah itu, mobil si Ungu dateng juga, dan ojek gue masih entah di mana. Ungu nawarin balik bareng, dan alhasil gue pulang bareng dia.
Di mobil, gue lanjut ngobrol dengan Agar, basa-basi sana-sini lah. That is sampe hape gue abis batere dan gue harus nunggu nyampe rumah dulu biar bisa lanjut ngobrol sama dia. Sesampainya di rumah, gue charge henfon, dan lanjut ngobrol. Kita pun ngobrolin urusan sekolah dan hal-hal akademik. Ya, gue ternyata bisa ngomongin hal-hal begituan. Gue cerita soal gue yang udah lulus SMA dan gue saat itu lagi intern nunggu kuliah, dan gue lulus setahun lebih cepet gara-gara kelas akselerasi pas SD. Dia cerita kalo dia masih duduk di kelas 11 di sekolah yang sepertinya lebih baik gue tidak beberkan dan seperti anak-anak SMA lainnya, dia sedang menderita. Gue juga cerita kalo gue tadinya mau ambil major yang berbau-bau biologi di universitas, tapi otak gue tidak mampu and I just couldn't be bothered anymore jadi gue banting setir ke ekonomi. Dia juga cerita kalo dia juga tertarik sama biologi dan pengen juga ambil mata kuliah yang berbau biologi.
"Wow I think this is the most educational and academic related conversation I've ever had", ujar dia.
"Yeah, same goes for me. What topic should we talk about, then?"
"What music do you listen to?"
And basically, yeah, selera musik kita hampir sama. Gak cuma selera musik, pretty much every other interests I have dia juga suka. Harry Potter, Adventure Time, Daft Punk, and many more. Except basketball. She only does yoga. And she also jogs. Occasionally. Kalo ada waktu katanya sih. But yeah, then she found out I have a SoundCloud, listened to my age old cover of Jamie Cullum's "Everlasting Love" and she just frantically said,
"BTW YOU LISTEN TO JAMIE CULLUM TOO?!"
"YES"
"DUDE. FATE HAS BROUGHT US TOGETHER."
Wuaw.
Now that's something I've never heard before. Mantan aja gak pernah bilang gitu.
And afterwards, dia juga ngasih tau SoundCloud punya dia. She made a cover of Karen O's "Moon Song", salah satu soundtrack dari film Her.
"Erhmahgerd can I tell you something", ujar dia.
"Yea sure, what is it?"
"So far, you're the only person yang punya this much in common with me"
Wuaw.
Now that's something I've never heard before. Mantan aja gak pernah bilang gitu.
Oke, maaf, saya emang kurang kreatif. Anggep aja ini majas repetisi.
Tapi ya gitu, gue udah bisa denger lagu-lagu best hits Kahitna berkumandang di kepala gue. Jomblonya udah tingkat tidak terselamatkan emang.
And so, minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks, and we're still chatting to each other on a daily basis.
Setelah beberapa lama kita ngobrol dan udah ada mutual trust in each other that neither of us were a fat, slimy 40 year old sexual predator with a bushy mustache, gue pun nanya ke dia,
"Hey, what other social media do you use for chatting?"
"Err mainly WhatsApp and LINE, why?"
"Gapapa, it's just that I wanna delete Tinder. Boros memori. And I only use it to talk to you, so yeah."
"Hmm iya ya, bikin boros batere pula. Yaudah, I'll add you on both"
And so I gave my number, even though I was a bit hesitant at first karena walaupun gue udah percaya sama dia, tetep aja, kita belom pernah ketemu face to face jadi percayanya juga gak 100%. But I did anyway, and voila, she's on my WhatsApp and LINE contact list.
Everything was going fine and well, until one night. Dia udah mau tidur, gue juga sama, udah saling ngucapin "goodnight" and all that, tapi selang beberapa menit kemudian, hape gue bunyi. Pesan dari Agar.
"Hey, are you still up?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
"I think we need to talk about something."
Deg. Fak.
Berdasarkan pelem-pelem drama yang sudah saya tonton, kalo cewek bilang dia "pengen ngomong" ke cowok, nasib si cowok hanya akan berakhir naas. Entah kenapa pas dia bilang gitu, hal pertama yang muncul di kepala gue adalah "wah sialan, dia punya titit nih". Tapi untungnya nggak, dia nggak punya titit.
"Umm sure. Talk about what, exactly?"
"We have to make sure that we are both on the 'same page'. I mean, like, before anyone gets hurt because they expect something the other didn't."
"Ooh okay. So..."
"This may seem abrupt but I think it's necessary, but if you find it uncomfortable then it's ok. So are you uncomfortable"
"Naah, I'm fine. I mean why would I be bothered by honesty?"
"Well, some people are. So. Let's begin. What do you think of me and where do you think this relationship is going?"
Bujubuset. Gue gak siap menhadapi pertanyaan ini. Karena takut ngambil langkah pertama (as I always do), gue pun ngeles dan mencoba untuk mancing dia biar dia duluan yang ngomong.
"Ummmm okay, I'm still kinda half awake, and I need time to process what you just asked, so why don't you go first? Besides, it is your idea to begin with, right?"
"Okay then"
Wah, berhasil.
"I think I've told you before that I've never known anyone with so much in common with me as you. And that is great because I've always wanted to know someone like that. Also, you are one of the very few people that I find fun to talk to. I think we can be really great friends. We can even be more than friends, who knows? Only problem is I've never met you in real life so yeah. Also, you're leaving for Japan next year so the possibility of the latter is very low but it exists. Your turn."
Wao.
Waoaooaoaowoaoaoaowaowao.
Ada apa ini? Apa yang sedang terjadi? Di mana ini? Ini tahun berapa? Siapa saya?
Gue langsung screenshot chat-nya dan gue dengan nggak nyantai mencoba untuk menghubungi Dimas.
"Dims. Dims. Dims. Dimdimdsdimsdimsdimsdimsdimsdimdsdismdimsidmismdmds."
Lalu gue kirim screenshot-nya, terus gue balik ke Agar. Setelah kerja keras memproses that one big chunk of a paragraph, gue pun mencoba untuk merangkai kata-kata sebaik mungkin, dan gue kirim deh.
"I feel the same way about you. I've never known anyone that likes pretty much everything I like. You even like Adventure Time. And you know, I truly feel like we can be more than just friends. Problem is, as you said, I'm going to Japan and we've never even seen each other's faces. Oh and also..."
Lalu tiba-tiba dia nyerobot ngomong,
"OH not to mention there's also religion in the way"
"Hahaha yeah, I was just about to mention that. Another thing, you're Chinese, so..."
"Yeap. And that."
For some of you that don't know, most, not all, but most Chinese parents tend to be racist. And her parents, unfortunately, is within that 'most'.
"I know the chances are slim, but there is a chance and who knows, right?", ujar dia.
"Hahaha yep, that is true"
"But yeah...first things first, we have to at least see each other in person"
"Err...well..when are you free?"
"Umm...I was thinking maybe we can Skype first"
Gue gondok.
"Ah, yes, that is indeed a good idea"
"Okay soo I'll add your Skype?"
"Oh, right, it's bigbootylover"
"Eh kok ga ada?"
"Ah, sorry, it's bigbootylover69, bigbootylover was taken"
"Okay. Added yah"
"Righty, request accepted"
"Okay then, I'm gonna go sleep now. Besok masih sekolah."
"Yeah, same here, masih intern hahah"
"Goodnight, Rory"
"Goodnight, Agar"
Abis itu gue liat notifikasi. Dimas udah jawab.
"Wuiiiih pasti rasanya berbunga-bunga ya itu Ror hahahaha"
"Parah Dims. Gue gak bisa tidur ini jadinya HAHA"
"Hehe yaudah Ror, congrats ya"
"Hah congrats apaan hoi, orang gak kenapa-kenapa, bukan jadian ini"
"Hahahaha ya gapapa Ror, kan tetep spesial"
"Hahah iyadeh Dims, makasih"
Terus gue bangun sampe jam 2, gak bisa tidur.
So over the course of, I dunno, more than a year now, we've Skyped, FaceTimed, and even went out a couple of times. As friends, of course, because yeah. We decided that with me going to college and whatnot, playing it safe would be the best way round for both of us. We both know that even if this doesn't lead to anything later on, even though it'll hurt and neither of us are looking forward to it, at least the pain wouldn't be as bad compared to if we actually establish a serious relationship.
Holy moly that just got way too real. Mari kita lanjut.
Dan ya, dia juga sempet dateng untuk send off gue sebelum gue terbang ke Jepang. Masalahnya cuma satu: nyokapnya juga ikut. Padahal jadian aja belom.
So yeah, the send off was rather awkward, soalnya gue lebih banyak diinterogasi nyokapnya Agar instaed of actually talking with Agar herself. Gak cuma itu, Dimas, yang juga hadir, stole the spotlight from me.
"Kamu ini mau berangkat ke mana?", tanya nyokapnya si Agar.
"Ke Jepang tante ahahah", jawab gue, terintimidasi.
"Ooh oke. Kalo kamu, udah kuliah juga? Di Jepang juga?", tanya si nyokapnya Agar, sekarang beralih ke Dimas.
"Oh, nggak tante, aku udah kuliah, tapi aku di UK. Di UCL", jawab Dimas ramah.
"Oooh gimana di UK? Enak? Hidupnya gak susah? Ngambil jurusan apa?"
Lho lho lho lho, sek sek sek, kok jadi gini. Gue curiga, ini diem-diem nyokapnya Agar lebih setuju anaknya sama si Dimas daripada sama gue.
So yeah, as I flew to Japan, I thought to myself, "what could possibly go wrong? I'm sure I can wait. I waited 15 years for my first relationship, I'm sure I can wait this time round. Gak cuma itu, it's not like I'm gonna be close with a girl later on or something, right?"
Boy.
Was I wrong.
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